Top Six Nicknames I Have Received Thus Far

1. Clinto. (First name minus last letter)
This one took hold in college, and my good friend still uses it. Simple, memorable, and unique–all the requirements of a good nickname. My lovely wife even uses it on occasion.

2. Flinto. (First letter of last name + first name minus last letter)
My dad is the creator and sole user of this one. I like that exclusivity. It’s one of the many coded things we do as father and son. We even have a secret handshake that we still use.

3. Clintonioni. (First name + the masculine plural of ‘one’)
My pal Al bestowed this one upon me. It has an Italian flair, yet I do not. Always wondered if it had roots in the name Michelangelo Antonioni, director of the film ‘Zabriske Point.’

4. Lord Clinton. (British title of a sovereign + first name)
Someone unearthed and presented me with a cigar box from the Lord Clinton Cigar Co. Lucky for me, this happened in high school when many nicknames start to stick for eternity. I could’ve fared much worse. I still have the cigar box, and was presented with another just last year.

5. Egon. (I’m tall, I wear glasses, and I am fairly nerdish)
I include this one because not all nicknames are awesome. This is another college-era nickname, used by some jerks in my dorm. When my pal and I returned to our dorm, we heard the jerks use this nickname (and another, meaner nickname for him.) I turned around, went into their room, shook their hands, told them my real name, and let them know that they were trash for behind-the-back nicknaming. It was an awkward passing them in the dorm halls after that. Granted, Egon isn’t terrible, as far as nicknames go, but it’s all about the context.

6. C-4. (‘C’ from my first name + ‘4’ or ‘For’ from the beginning of my last name)
Multiple people have come up with this, each certain that they were the first. It’s often accompanied by a hand sign in the shape of a ‘C’ followed by holding up four fingers, as if counting. I’m at least a little conflicted about this one, since C-4 is actually an explosive. I’m more of a smolder, if we’re looking for a combustion simile.